Don't Worry It's Organic

As someone who is reasonably concerned about the ostensible pace at which we hurtle towards the apocalypse via the utter degradation of our environment, I decided that having been unemployed for 3 months after my graduation, I could do much worse than working for, Daylesford, a ‘farm shop’ which is committed to “work in harmony with nature and strive to protect its precious resources”.
 
Daylesford is nestled into the heart of the Cotswolds, just a few miles from the wonderfully idyllic, Stow-on-the-Wold, a short 25-minute drive from the notorious Soho Farmhouse and is an easily commutable distance to the big smoke of London. This is an area that, as you’d expect, has been experiencing a historical amount of gentrification and, thus, has been infested with swathes of yummy mummies and influencers alike that are all drawn to the behemoth that is Daylesford, like moths to a flame. Can you blame them? The site is pristine, with glimmering, gold, Cotswold stone courtyards that are nothing short of immaculate without a singular stone out of place, owing, of course, to Lady Bamford, who will routinely ask staff members to pick out rocks from the gravel that are either too dark or too big. Not the most stimulating of work, but at least your Instagram pictures come out well!
 
The image that Daylesford has so meticulously cultivated, is one of an environmental haven, a sanctuary free of pesticides, where pigs can roam until the cows come home and everything is just ‘wonderfully sustainable'. It’s no wonder that the trendy, young Cotswoldians relentlessly swarm here to gobble up their organic food, after all “by eating and shopping with a conscience, you are choosing to invest in the long-term health of the planet, animal welfare, the environment, farming communities, and the wellbeing of your family”, the insinuation here is that by spending money at Daylesford, you are somehow benefiting the planet, or at least that’s what they’d have you think.
 
Based on the website and the messages of a ‘sustainable revolution’ that they so arrogantly brandish at the top of their lunch menus, you might believe that the owners of Daylesford, Lord and Lady Bamford, are, in fact, fanatical environmentalists, vanguards of our environment, committed to stopping at nothing to protect our earth from destruction and decay. These committed environmentalists, travel around the UK by helicopter and are frequently found jetting off on private planes or perhaps reclining on their 200ft yacht that runs on the notoriously environmental, diesel fuel. Whilst crusading around the world attempting to rescue everyone from environmental devastation, what is of the utmost importance to these two heroes is that they eat well, saving the planet isn’t an easy task at the best of times, least of all, when you don’t have the correct nutrition. It is extremely lucky for them that the staff at Daylesford can provide, ‘environmental and sustainable’, food for such excursions, eating food from unsustainable sources on such adventures would, unquestionably, be hypocritical. Now I know what you’re all thinking, ‘irony cannot be organic!’, but, it is grown without any pesticides so I guess they must be consuming it guilt free - hopefully it’s low-calorie though, as they have been gorging themselves on the stuff.
 
This isn’t Lord Bamford’s only pursuit, however, he is also the chairman of JCB, a title that he must have worked extremely hard to inherit. JCB are a manufacturer of equipment for construction, agriculture, waste handling, and demolition’, however, you probably know them because of that Nizlopi song ‘JCB’ which nearly got to number one back in 2005 and may have contributed to the cuddliness that people associate with the brand. Regrettably, JCB have been up to some not-very cuddly things of late, most notably they have been profiteering off of war crimes in Palestine, but hey, they donate to the NSPCC so I suppose we should just excuse this indiscretion! Amnesty International has even been obliged to address the company for their part in ‘engaging in illegal settlement activities’ in Palestine, stating that JCB ‘is profiting from and contributing to systemic human rights violations against Palestinians.’ Shocking isn’t it, how people such as Lord and Lady Bamford, who are so dedicated to sustainability and to helping children, can simultaneously be aiding, and profiting from, a regime committed to encroaching upon the human rights of Palestinian men, women and children? What is even more curious, and concerning, is that Lord and Lady Bamford are some of the biggest financiers for the Conservative party or the ‘freedom-loving tories’ as Boris ‘pickaninny’ Johnson likes to refer to them… I presume Boris must, also, be dieting on Daylesford’s very own brand of irony, it’s a good job he’s flushed, I hear they’re charging a fortune for the stuff!